My husband Jim is the love of my life but that does not mean we want to work together. A certain degree of distance has always been beneficial to our marriage. We have been together nonstop for the last two weeks and knew we needed to create a battle plan to survive the intense and constant proximity. Jim read an article that suggested we create a fictional co-worker we can blame for minor irritations. This sounded like a wonderful idea since our annoyance thresholds are low. We named our fictional co-worker Christine and set about our normal work routines.
In short order, we became aware that Christine wasn’t quite the collegial co-worker we expected. Simply put, Christine has low emotional intelligence, doesn’t appreciate boundaries and quite frankly is a bit of a slob. She never replaces the ink or the paper in the printer, borrows my pen and never returns it and forgets when it’s her turn to restock the fridge with sodas. Christine has forgotten to replace the toilet paper roll, doesn’t rinse her dishes and put them in the dishwasher and eats the last bit of my low-calorie ice cream even though it is clearly labeled as mine.
My husband tells me that Christine is a nonstop talker whose voice is so loud he can hear it on the other side of the house. Of course, she forgets to close the office door and he complains that he can hear every word she is saying. Jim says every time he asks for help, she tells him she’s busy, but he can see her checking out her Facebook page. When Christine does manage to put away some supplies, neither Jim nor I can find them. The scissors have been missing for two weeks! Jim and I both agree that Christine is a problem but with the situation at hand, we’ll have to hang on and get as much work out of her as we can for now. We do agree that, as soon as this sequester is over, Christine will be getting her pink slip and Jim and I will return to our normal schedules which allow for a bit less proximity.